Tuesday, 26 March 2013

cerita lawak bodoh...gelak dalam ati jeh

cerita lawak bodoh...gelak dalam ati jeh






Kisah 1:

Pintu bilik dibuka dengan kuat dan mengejutkan sepasang suami isteri yang sedang tidur nyeyak... Seorang lelaki dengan wajah garang mengacukan senjata tajam ke arah si isteri... .

Perompak : Sebelum kamu mati kubunuh, sebutkan namamu!
Isteri : Na... nama sa... saya... Aisyah
Perompak : Aisyah? nampaknya sama dengan nama ibuku. Aku tidak boleh membunuhmu, lalu dia mendekati si suami dan sambil mengacukan senjatanya ia berkata,
Perompak : Sebutkan namamu. Aku mesti tahu nama setiap orang yang menjadi korbanku.
Suami : Namaku Irwan.. tapi... . semua orang memanggilku Aisyah... .


Kisah 2:

Di sebuah Mall yang sesak dengan pengunjung.. ada satu alat pengukur berat badan yang cukup canggih.. Hanya dengan membayar RM 1.00 kita akan diberitahu berapa berat badan kita oleh program komputer. Seorang gadis dan temannya mencuba di tengah kerumunan orang.. Setelah memasukkan wang RM 1.00.. mesin komputer menjawab: 47 kg! Gadis kedua cuba untuk menimbang, dan mesin komputer menjawab: 52 kg!

Setelah beberapa minit datang seorang wanita yang cukup gemuk dan montel cuba menimbang dirinya di mesin itu. Setelah memasukkan wang RM 1.00.. mesin komputer mengeluarkan jawapan: Tolong naik sorang-sorang.. jangan ramai- ramai!


Kisah 3:

JAMAL ke kedai untuk membeli telur yang dipesan ibunya. Ketika berdiri di tepi jalan, dua buah kereta tiba-tiba berlanggar di hadapannya. Dia terkejut dan kaku di situ sehingga polis dan ambulans tiba.

Setelah mangsa dikeluarkan, Jamal berlari pulang dan terlupa membeli telur. Jamal dengan penuh minat menceritakan kemalangan itu pada ibunya.

Dahsyat bu, kakinya tercabut dan terpelanting ke seberang jalan. Tangannya pulak putus, kepala pecah, perut terburai...

Tiba-tiba ibunya mencelah, Telurnya mana?
Jamal menjawab, Err... . Mal tak tau pulak ke mana tercampaknya!


Kisah 4:

Samdol pergi ke sebuah pekan untuk membeli buah durian... lalu dia menghampiri seorang penjual buah durian yang merupakan orang asli tempatan...

Samdol :Bang harga durian ini berapa?
Org Asli : yang ini.. sepopit sebiji

Samdol kebingungan mendengar jawapan dalam bahasa orang asli itu kerana dia tidak memahami berapa nilainya sepopit itu.. lalu Samdol buat2 tahu dan cuba menawarinya..

Samdol : Bang.. Boleh kurang sikit tak?
Orang Asli : Boleh aje, nak kurang berape?
Samdol : Lahupa.. boleh ya!

Penjual orang asli itu kebingungan.. lalu bertanya pada Samdol..

Orang Asli : Lahupa itu berapa?
Samdol : Cakap dulu.. Sepopit itu berapa?


Kisah 5:

Terdapat 3 orang gila yg mengambil ujian perlepasan hospital . lalu doktor itu bertanya kepada org gila yg pertama, apa yg kau mahu bawa jika berada di gurun, orang gila itu menjawab 'payung, sebab kalau panas saya boleh berteduh' . Lalu org gila itu dilepaskan

Doktor itu menanya soalan yg sama kepada org gila kedua, lalu dia menjawab saya akan bawa air, sebab kalau saya haus saya boleh minum lalu org gila itu dilepaskan.

Doktor itu menujukan soalan yang sama kepada org gila ketiga lalu dia menjawab saya akan bawa pintu kereta sebab kalau panas saya boleh menurunkan cermin tingkap... lalu org gila itu dimasukkan kembali ke hospital


Kisah 6

Ani : Mengapa engkau menulis surat dengan kertas berwarna Hijau
Muda?
Ena : Surat warna Hijau Muda itu bererti Aku Cinta Padamu
Ani : Kalau kertas itu bewarna Biru Muda apa ertinya?
Ena : itu melambangkan Suasana Pilu
Ani : Kalau kertasnya berwarna Merah?
Ena : Asmara Yang Membara
Ani : Kalau kertasnya warna Putih?
Ani : Kalau kertasnya Kuning?
Ena: Melambangkan Hati Yang Gersang
Ani : Kalau Merah Jambu?
Ena: Sedang Jatuh Cinta
Ani : Kalau kelabu?
Ena : Melambangkan Hati Yang Sedang sedih
Ani : Kalau kertasnya Hitam?
Ena: Suci, Bersih danEna : Itu namanya kertas karbon.. bodoh

Wakakkakakaka................. :) Jujur

Girls’ Generation (SNSD) Member Profiles

Girls’ Generation (SNSD) Member Profiles

Korean pop group Girls’ Generation members’ personal profiles and solo activities.

Taeyeon

Girls Generation SNSD member Taeyeon picture
Birth name: Kim Tae-yeon (Hangul: 김태연 | Hanja: 金泰妍)
DOB: March 9, 1989
Birthplace: Jeonju, North Jeolla, South Korea
Height: 160cm | Blood type: O
DJ for Good Friend Radio (2008-2010)
Solo in If – drama OST for Hong Gil Dong (2008)
Solo in Can You Hear Me – drama OST for Beethoven Virus (2008)
Starred in variety show We Got Married with comedian Jeong Hyeong-don (2009)
Duet with Sunny in It’s Love – drama OST for Heading To The Ground (2009)
Starred in stage musical Midnight Sun (2010)
Voiced for animated film Despicable Me (2010)
Duet with The One in Like A Star (2010)
Co-host of variety talk show Win-Win (2010)
Solo in I Love You – drama OST for Athena: Goddess of War (2010)
Duet with Kim Bum-soo in Different (2011)
Played a part in drama Salamander Guru (2012)
Co-host of MBC Music Core with Tiffany and Seohyun (2012-2013)
Released mini-album Twinkle with Tiffany and Seohyun (2012)
Solo in Missing You Like Crazy – drama OST for The King 2 Hearts (2012)
Solo in Closer – drama OST for To The Beautiful You (2012)

Jessica

Girls Generation SNSD member Jessica picture
Korean name: Jung Su-yeon (Hangul: 정수연 | Hanja: 鄭秀妍)
DOB: April 18, 1989
Birthplace: San Francisco, California, USA
Height: 163cm | Blood type: B
Elder sister of Krystal, member of girl group f(x).
Released two singles, Oppa Nappa and Mabinogi, with Tiffany and SeoHyun (2008)
Duet with SHINee’s Onew in One Year Later (2008)
Duet with Park Myeong-su in NaengMyun (2009)
Starred in stage musical Legally Blonde (2009-2010, rerun 2012-2013)
Solo in Sweet Delight – commercial song for SPC Group (2010)
Solo in Tears Overflow – drama OST for Romance Town (2011)
Starred in drama Wild Romance and solo for OST (2012)
Duet with Krystal in Butterfly – drama OST for To The Beautiful You (2012)
Solo in Heart Road – drama OST for King’s Dream (2012)
Trio with Krystal and EXO-K’s Kris in Say Yes – movie OST for Cobu 3D (2012)
Solo in My Lifestyle – special PYL Younique album for Hyundai Motors (2012)

Sunny

Girls Generation SNSD member Sunny picture
Birth name: Lee Sun-kyu (Hangul: 이순규 | Hanja: 李順圭)
DOB: May 15, 1989
Birthplace: Los Angeles, California, USA
Height: 158cm | Blood type: B
Co-DJ of Chun Ji Radio (2007-2008)
Solo in Finally Now – movie OST for Story of Wine (2008)
Co-host of The M music show (2009-2010)
Duet with Taeyeon in It’s Love – drama OST for Heading To The Ground (2009)
Starred in reality-variety show Invincible Youth (2009-2010, sequel 2011-2012)
Solo in Your Doll – drama OST for Oh My Lady (2010)
Voiced for Koala Kid: Birth of A Hero (2012)
Duet with Brown Eyed Girls’ Miryo in I Love You, I Love You (2012)
Host of MBC Music Island (2012)
Starred in stage musical Catch Me If You Can (2012-2013)
Duet with f(x)’s Luna in It’s Me – drama OST for To The Beautiful You (2012)

Tiffany

Girls Generation SNSD member Tiffany picture
Birth name: Stephanie Hwang
Korean name: Hwang Mi-young (Hangul: 황미영 | Hanja: 黄美英)
DOB: August 1, 1989
Birthplace: San Francisco, California, USA
Height: 162cm | Blood type: O
Released two singles, Oppa Nappa and Mabinogi, with Seohyun and Jessica (2008)
Co-host of Sonyeo Sonyeon Gayo Baekso with Kim Hye-sung (2007-2008)
Solo in By Myself – drama OST for Ja Myung Go (2009)
Duet with K.Will in A Girl Meets Love (2009)
Co-host with Yuri for MBC Music Core (2009-2010, 2011-2012)
Solo in Banji – drama OST for Haru (2010)
Starred in stage musical Fame (2011)
Co-host of MBC Music Core with Taeyeon and Seohyun (2012-2013)
Solo in Because It’s You – drama OST for Love Rain (2012)
Released mini-album Twinkle with Taeyeon and Seohyun (2012)
Duet with SuJu’s Kyuhyun in Beautiful You – drama OST for To The Beautiful You (2012)

Hyoyeon

Girls Generation SNSD member Hyoyeon picture
Birth name: Kim Hyo-yeon (Hangul: 김효연 | Hanja: 金孝淵)
DOB: September 22, 1989
Birthplace: Incheon, South Korea
Height: 160cm | Blood type: AB
Formed a dance group Little Winners Crew with Miss A’s Min before debut (2004)
Starred in reality-variety show Invincible Youth II (2011-2012)
Finalist in reality show Dancing with the Stars II (2012)
Featured in Maxstep with various artist – special PYL Younique album (2012)

Yuri

Girls Generation SNSD member Yuri picture
Birth name: Kwon Yuri (Hangul: 권유리 | Hanja: 權侑利)
DOB: December 5, 1989
Birthplace: Goyang, Gyeonggi, South Korea
Height: 167cm | Blood type: AB
Played a part in sitcom Unstoppable Marriage (2007)
Duet with Sooyoung in Must – drama OST for Working Mom (2008)
Co-host with Tiffany for MBC Music Core (2009-2010, 2011-2012)
Starred in reality-variety show Invincible Youth (2009-2010)
Starred in drama Fashion King (2012)

Sooyoung

Girls Generation SNSD member Sooyoung picture
Birth name: Choi Soo-young (Hangul: 최수영 | Hanja: 崔秀英)
DOB: February 10, 1990
Birthplace: Seoul, South Korea
Height: 170cm | Blood type: O
Made a brief debut in Japan as pop duo Route φ with Marina Takahashi (2002)
Co-host of ChunJi Radio (2007)
Played a part in the sitcom Unstoppable Marriage (2007)
Duet with Yuri in Must – drama OST for Working Mom (2008)
Played a part in movie Hello Schoolgirl (2008)
Wrote the lyrics for How Great Is Your Love (2011)
Co-host of SBS Midnight TV Entertainment (2012-2013)
Starred in drama The 3rd Hospital (2012)

YoonA

Girls Generation SNSD member Yoona picture
Birth name: Im Yoona (Hangul: 임윤아 | Hanja: 林允兒)
DOB: May 30, 1990
Birthplace: Seoul, South Korea
Height: 166cm | Blood type: B
Played a part in drama 9 Ends 2 Out (2007)
Played a part in drama Woman of Matchless Beauty (2008)
Starred in drama You Are My Destiny (2008-2009)
Starred in drama Cinderella Man (2009)
Starred in variety show Family Outing 2 (2010)
Solo in Innisfree Day – commercial song for Innisfree (2010)
Starred in drama Love Rain (2012)

SeoHyun

Girls Generation SNSD member Seohyun picture
Birth name: Seo Joo-hyun (Hangul: 서주현 | Hanja: 徐珠賢)
DOB: June 28, 1991
Birthplace: Seoul, South Korea
Height: 168cm | Blood type: A
Group maknae.
Released two singles, Oppa Nappa and Mabinogi, with Jessica and Tiffany (2008)
Duet with trot singer Ju hyun-mi in JjaRaJaJja (2009)
Starred on variety show We Got Married with CNBlue’s Jung Yong-hwa (2010)
Solo in It’s Ok Even If It Hurts – drama OST for Kim Soo Roo (2010)
Voiced for animated film Despicable Me (2010)
Featured in Let’s Go – G20 Seoul Summit OST (2010)
Solo in Journey – drama OST for Paradise Ranch (2011)
Duet with Suju’s Donghae in Dreams Come True – charity song for UNICEF (2011)
Duet with Kim Hyun-joong in The Magic of Yellow Ribbon (2011)
Duet with TVXQ in Journey – drama OST for Paradise Ranch (2011)
Duet with Yoon Gun in Don’t Say No (2012)
Co-host of MBC Music Core with Taeyeon and Tiffany (2012-2013)
Solo in I’ll Wait for You – drama OST for Fashion King (2012)
Released mini-album Twinkle with Taeyeon and Tiffany (2012)
Check SNSD group profile for group activities and discography etc., and visit our blog for more Girls’ Generation Pictures, news, comments and videos.

4minute Members & Profiles

4minute Members & Profiles


  • HyunA
  • Full Name: Kim Hyun Ah
  • Position: Vocalist, Main Rapper, Main Dancer, Visual
  • Birthday: June 6, 1992
  • Height: 164 cm (5.4“)
  • Weight: 40 kg (88 lbs)
  • Blood Type: O
  • Education: Konkuk University (Majoring in Performing Arts)
  • Fun Facts:
    Is an ex member of JYP Entertainment’s the Wonder Girls.  She left due to her eosinophilic gastroenteritis. It’s not curable but sustained with medication.
    She has been dancing since she was 10.
    Her ideal type is someone who can accept her flaws and has a big heart.
    A majority of the BEAST/B2ST members are fans if her.
    She likes to annoy label mate G.NA.
    Her parents are divorced.
    She doesn’t like sandals.
    She often goes shopping with BEAST/B2ST members JunHyung, HyunSeung, and DooJoon.
    She is very good friends with Girl’s Generation/SNSD’s Sunny.
    She wants to be a designer.
    She believe’s everyday is special since it only happens once.
    Her ideal kiss is kissing in a red telephone booth on a rainy day. 

  • JiYoon
  • Full Name: Jeon Ji Yoon
  • Position: Lead Vocalist, Lead Rapper
  • Birthday: October 15, 1990
  • Height: 165 cm (5.4“)
  • Weight: 47 kg (103.4 lbs)
  • Blood Type: B
  • Education: Byeongjeom High School
  • Hobbies: Cooking, writing lyrics
  • Fun Facts:
    Likes Beyonce.
    She loves roasted chicken.
    She is afraid of heights.
    She loves all of Katy Perry’s songs, and wants to learn from her.
    She does yoga to relieve stress.
    She wrote some of the lyrics for “Once Again, Even If You Hate Me” while thinking about an old boyfriend who cheated on her. She even included his birthday (September 27) in the lyrics.
    Her rapping skills have been praised by Jay Park.
    She doesn’t like to cook because the members says her cooking is bad.
    Her favorite color is White.
    According to 4minute’s trainer, out of all the members JiYoon has changed the most.
    She doesn’t let her hair get wet when it’s raining.
    She is the mood maker of 4minute.

  • GaYoon
  • Full Name: Heo Ga Yoon
  • Position: Main Vocalist
  • Birthday: May 18, 1990
  • Height: 165 cm (5.4“)
  • Weight: 47 kg (103.4 lbs)
  • Blood Type: O
  • Fun Facts:
    She likes to write lyrics in her free time in the recording studio located in the basement of the dorms.
    Because of her small hands, she can’t really wear rings.
    She gets very emotional when talking about family.
    She has been singing ever since she was in high school.
    She loves clothes, so during her free time she likes to shop.
    She doesn’t express her feelings well.
    She sometimes feels emptiness late at night. During these times, she will write lyrics or expresses her thoughts in her diary.
    The members say she is scary when she’s angry.
    She has made asked out by many male idols.
    She doesn’t fall for any of the pranks the members try to pull on her.
    She doesn’t like PDA.
    She says she doesn’t know how to do ageyo.
    She likes to eat noodles.

  • JiHyun
  • Full Name: Nam Ji Hyun
  • Position: Vocalist, Leader, Visual
  • Birthday: January 9, 1990
  • Height: 167 cm (5.5“)
  • Weight: 49 kg (107.8 lbs)
  • Blood Type: A
  • Fun Facts:
    She has adored dancing for years and regularly went on stage during events at school.
    She was chosen as 4minute’s leader after just 6 months of being a trainee.
    Her ideal type is someone who can make her laugh.
    She likes Hello Kitty and Micky Mouse.
    Jihyun is a big fan of sing/worldstar Rain. Once, Rain bought her a strawberry smoothie and she washed the cup out and has never thrown it out.
    She is a positive thinker and doesn’t believe in giving up easily.

  • SoHyun
  • Full Name: Kwon So Hyun
  • Position: Vocalist, Rapper, Maknae
  • Birthday: August 30, 1994
  • Height: 162 cm (5.3“)
  • Weight: 45 kg (99 lbs)
  • Blood Type: B
  • Fun Facts:
    She debuting in 2005 with a group called “Orange” with their song “Our Star”.
    She wants her first kiss to be in an elevator.
    She likes to dance to MBLAQ’s choreography, and has also stated that she likes Mir.
    She is close to BEAST/B2ST DongWoon.
    Her cholesterol is high and she even has problem with blood circulation.
    She was still in school after 4minute debuted, but luckily her friends and teachers still treated her the same.
    She has been playing the piano ever since she was little and even has one in her dorm room.
    Shes very considerate and listens well to anyone who who talks with her.
    She likes technology.


  • HyunA
  • Full Name: Kim Hyun Ah
  • Position: Vocalist, Main Rapper, Main Dancer, Visual
  • Birthday: June 6, 1992
  • Height: 164 cm (5.4“)
  • Weight: 40 kg (88 lbs)
  • Blood Type: O
  • Education: Konkuk University (Majoring in Performing Arts)
  • Fun Facts:
    Is an ex member of JYP Entertainment’s the Wonder Girls.  She left due to her eosinophilic gastroenteritis. It’s not curable but sustained with medication.
    She has been dancing since she was 10.
    Her ideal type is someone who can accept her flaws and has a big heart.
    A majority of the BEAST/B2ST members are fans if her.
    She likes to annoy label mate G.NA.
    Her parents are divorced.
    She doesn’t like sandals.
    She often goes shopping with BEAST/B2ST members JunHyung, HyunSeung, and DooJoon.
    She is very good friends with Girl’s Generation/SNSD’s Sunny.
    She wants to be a designer.
    She believe’s everyday is special since it only happens once.
    Her ideal kiss is kissing in a red telephone booth on a rainy day. 

  • JiYoon
  • Full Name: Jeon Ji Yoon
  • Position: Lead Vocalist, Lead Rapper
  • Birthday: October 15, 1990
  • Height: 165 cm (5.4“)
  • Weight: 47 kg (103.4 lbs)
  • Blood Type: B
  • Education: Byeongjeom High School
  • Hobbies: Cooking, writing lyrics
  • Fun Facts:
    Likes Beyonce.
    She loves roasted chicken.
    She is afraid of heights.
    She loves all of Katy Perry’s songs, and wants to learn from her.
    She does yoga to relieve stress.
    She wrote some of the lyrics for “Once Again, Even If You Hate Me” while thinking about an old boyfriend who cheated on her. She even included his birthday (September 27) in the lyrics.
    Her rapping skills have been praised by Jay Park.
    She doesn’t like to cook because the members says her cooking is bad.
    Her favorite color is White.
    According to 4minute’s trainer, out of all the members JiYoon has changed the most.
    She doesn’t let her hair get wet when it’s raining.
    She is the mood maker of 4minute.

  • GaYoon
  • Full Name: Heo Ga Yoon
  • Position: Main Vocalist
  • Birthday: May 18, 1990
  • Height: 165 cm (5.4“)
  • Weight: 47 kg (103.4 lbs)
  • Blood Type: O
  • Fun Facts:
    She likes to write lyrics in her free time in the recording studio located in the basement of the dorms.
    Because of her small hands, she can’t really wear rings.
    She gets very emotional when talking about family.
    She has been singing ever since she was in high school.
    She loves clothes, so during her free time she likes to shop.
    She doesn’t express her feelings well.
    She sometimes feels emptiness late at night. During these times, she will write lyrics or expresses her thoughts in her diary.
    The members say she is scary when she’s angry.
    She has made asked out by many male idols.
    She doesn’t fall for any of the pranks the members try to pull on her.
    She doesn’t like PDA.
    She says she doesn’t know how to do ageyo.
    She likes to eat noodles.

  • JiHyun
  • Full Name: Nam Ji Hyun
  • Position: Vocalist, Leader, Visual
  • Birthday: January 9, 1990
  • Height: 167 cm (5.5“)
  • Weight: 49 kg (107.8 lbs)
  • Blood Type: A
  • Fun Facts:
    She has adored dancing for years and regularly went on stage during events at school.
    She was chosen as 4minute’s leader after just 6 months of being a trainee.
    Her ideal type is someone who can make her laugh.
    She likes Hello Kitty and Micky Mouse.
    Jihyun is a big fan of sing/worldstar Rain. Once, Rain bought her a strawberry smoothie and she washed the cup out and has never thrown it out.
    She is a positive thinker and doesn’t believe in giving up easily.

  • SoHyun
  • Full Name: Kwon So Hyun
  • Position: Vocalist, Rapper, Maknae
  • Birthday: August 30, 1994
  • Height: 162 cm (5.3“)
  • Weight: 45 kg (99 lbs)
  • Blood Type: B
  • Fun Facts:
    She debuting in 2005 with a group called “Orange” with their song “Our Star”.
    She wants her first kiss to be in an elevator.
    She likes to dance to MBLAQ’s choreography, and has also stated that she likes Mir.
    She is close to BEAST/B2ST DongWoon.
    Her cholesterol is high and she even has problem with blood circulation.
    She was still in school after 4minute debuted, but luckily her friends and teachers still treated her the same.
    She has been playing the piano ever since she was little and even has one in her dorm room.
    Shes very considerate and listens well to anyone who who talks with her.
    She likes technology.

cerita lucu

Cium di Tiga Tempat
Di sebuah taman, sepasang kekasih sedang berbisik-bisik:

 Lelaki: "Sayang, apa yang paling kamu dambakan?"

Teman wanitanya dengan malu-malu kucing berkata: "Perkara yang paling ku dambakan ialah, kamu mencium diri ku di 3 tempat."

Lelaki: "Ah, itu mudah, cuba kamu katakan di tiga tempat yang mana?"

Wanita: "Paris, London dan New York."


 ---- sumbangan: Harry
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Harga Sebentuk Cincin
Di kedai emas, ada seorang perempuan terkentut ketika menonggeng melihat cincin. Dia tersipu-sipu malu dan melihat sekeliling dan perasan ada promoter dekat belakangnya...

Promoter tu tanya la "Boleh saya bantu?"

Perempuan tu anggap promoter itu tak dengar la yang dia kentut jadi dia jawab "Berapa harga cincin ini?".

Promoter tu jawab, "Kalau tengok pun Puan boleh terkentut, saya pasti Puan akan terberak bila tau harganya".


--- sumbangan: Noor Azree Hussin

cerita lucu...

Tujupakale
Suatu hari di kedai mamak, seorang lelaki bertanya kepada seorang mamak yang bekerja di situ..

Hasrul : dey mamak apa password WIFI kat sini?
Mamak : apa WIFI??
Hasrul : ini kedai punya internet la..
Mamak : Ooo..itu macam kalu, password dia tujupakale jugak
Hasrul : hah??
Mamak : “tujupakale..!”
Hasrul : Apa tu..??
Mamak : Aiyoo..awak tanya passwordkan... tujupakale la..
Hasrul : Password dia tajupakale..!
Mamak : ya... tujupakale

Hasrul pun menaip T.U.J.U.P.A.K.A.L.E. (ternyata salah)

Hasrul : dey, mamak apa password dia??
Mamak : tujupakale la…sudah tanya banyak kali jugak..aiyoo!!
Hasrul : kau bagi salah la, tu yg aku tanya balik
Mamak : mana ada salah..tujupakale
Hasrul : tak boleh la dey!!
Mamak : boleh la…
Hasrul : ko datang sini tengok aku taip..(mamak tu pun datang) kalo tak boleh kepala ko aku tuju!
Mamak : aiyoo abang jangan marah la..awak satu kali saya tengok (Hasrul pun taip)
Hasrul : ko tengok aku taip T.U.J.U.P.A.K.A.L.E… tengok, mana dapat!!
Mamak : dey, abang mari sini saya taip..awak kasi tekan salah butang jugak..
Hasrul : eh, ye ke…kau tekan la
Mamak : ini macam tekan la 7777
Hasrul : “ini TUJUH EMPAT KALI..!!”
Mamak : betul la saya cakap tujupakale..
Hasrul : %@$#@%#!!!!….


--- sumbangan: Noor Azlan Hussin
 
 
Suami yang Miskin
Seorang isteri marah pada suaminya untuk kesekian kalinya.

 Isteri: "Mengapa kamu tidak memberitahu saya terlebih dahulu yang kamu miskin hah!"

 Suami: "Saya sudah beritahu kamu, kamu hanya mengangguk dan tidak mahu memahami." 

Isteri: "Apa yang kamu katakan?"

Suami: "Saya beritahu kamu, cuma kamulah satu-satunya milikku di dunia ini..."

 Isteri: "#$*@#!?"


---- sumbangan: Khairul
 
 

cerita lucu...

Nasib Peragut
PONTIAN - 18/10/12, Nasib malang kepada 2 peragut yang telah berjaya ditangkap oleh penduduk kampung kayu ara pasong, menurut saksi, hj manan jalil 48, salah seorang penduduk tempatan yang berang dengan kedua-dua peragut telah membawa keluar parang tajam yang berkilat untuk menetak leher peragut tersebut.

Bagaimanapun perbuatannya sempat dihalang oleh orang ramai. Namun ketika peragut itu ditangkap, saksi mengatakan tidak ada barang berharga ditemui.

Salah seorang penduduk tempatan juga merupakan ketua kampung berang kepada peragut itu telah memerintah anak buahnya menyembelih kedua-dua peragut ini. Kaki-kaki peragut diikat sambil bertakbir, kedua-dua peragut telah sembelih peragut tanpa rasa belas kasihan.

Darah menyembur keluar, namun tiada penduduk menghalang perbuatan tersebut, kerana yang disembelih itu ialah seeokor kambing dan sesekor lembu yang meragut rumput disembelih untuk hari raya korban...

SALAM AIDIL ADHA MAAMandikan Kucing
Seorang budak lelaki berusia lingkungan 8 tahun membeli sekotak sabun dari sebuah kedai runcit...

Pekedai: Banyak sangat ke pakaian yang hendak dibasuh?

Budak: Saya nak mandikan kucing...

Pekedai: Eh, tak boleh gunakan sabun ni... Sabun ni terlalu kuat untuk kucing... silap-silap kucing kamu boleh mati...

Budak itu terus berlalu setelah membayar harga sabun... Seminggu kemudian, budak itu kembali ke kedai runcit tersebut...

Pekedai: Bagaimana kucing kamu?

Budak: Mati...

Pekedai: Bukan Pak Cik dah kata....

Budak: Tapi saya tak fikir sabun itu yg membunuhnya...

Pekedai: Habis, siapa yang membunuhnya?

Budak: Mesin basuh tu... ia berpusing terlalu laju...


--- sumbangan: Fariz AkmalF ZAHIR dan Batin


--- sumbangan: Fariz
 
 
 
 
 

cerita lucu

Peguam Dan Saksi
Di dalam sebuah sebuah mahkamah yang sedang membicarakan kes pembunuhan. Seorang peguam sedang menyoal seorang saksi penting.

Peguam : Awak kenal ini? (sambil menunjukkan gambar mangsa pembunuhan)

Saksi : Kenal tuan.

Peguam : Boleh awak beritahu kepada kami?

Saksi : Itu gambar..., tuan.

Peguam : Bukan, maksud saya orang dalam gambar ni.

Saksi : Oh, itu gambar seorang perempuan, tuan.

Peguam : (mula tension) Yang aku nak tau nama dia lah bukannyer lelaki ke perempuan!

Saksi : Nama dia Saodah bte Sameon, tuan.

Peguam : Bila kali terakhir awak melihatnya? (meletakkan semula gambar itu di mejanya)

Saksi : Baru kejap tadi tuan.

Peguam : Hahhh!!? Bagaimana awak boleh lihatnya kejap tadi?

Saksi : Sebab tadi tuan tunjukkan gambar tu pada saya.

Peguam : Bukanlah, maksud saya sebelum saya menunjukkan gambar tu.

Saksi : Tak pernah tuan. Saya tak pernah lihat gambar tu sebelum ni.

Peguam : Aku bukan bercakap pasal gambar nieee!!! Aku bercakap pasal mangsa!!! (sambil menikam pennya pada gambar tersebut)

Saksi : Oh! Kali terakhir saya nampak ialah ketika mangsa ditikam, tuan.

Peguam : Boleh kamu tunjukkan siapakah yang menikamnya yang berada dalam mahkamah ini. Adakah lelaki yang berada di kandang tertuduh itu? (sambil mengusap dadanya kerana terlalu bengang)

Saksi : Bukan. (tangannya kemudian ditunjukkan pada peguam tersebut)

Peguam : Hahhh!!! Kenapa awak tunjuk pada saya!!?

Saksi : Baru kejap tadi saya nampak tuan tikam gambar tu dengan pen tuan.

Peguam : ARGHHHHH!!! APA YANG KAU MEREPEK NI SYAITANNN!!! AKU BUKAN CAKAP PASAL GAMBAR TU!!! AKU CAKAP PASAL MANGSA YANG KENA BUNUH TU LAHHHHH!!!!!


----sumbangan: Sarip
 
 
 
Ambil Gambar

Pada suatu hari, Abu berada di dalam bas untuk ke bandar. Dia memegang sekeping gambar. Tiba-tiba, gambar itu pun terjatuh di bawah kain seorang makcik.

Abu : Makcik, tolong angkat kain, saya nak ambik gambar.

Makcik : Apa kamu cakap?!

Tiba-tiba.... PANG!!! Abu pun turun dari bas itu dengan muka yang bengang kerana ditampar oleh makcik itu di hadapan orang ramai.


---- sumbangan: Mohd Firdaus Ismail
 

cerita lucu

Cikgu Datang
Atok : Cu, pergi menyorok cepat cikgu kamu datang sebab kamu tak pergi sekolah hari ni...

Cucu : Atok la pergi menyorok...

Atok : Awat pulak atok nak kena menyorok?

Cucu : Sebab... saya bagi tau cikgu, saya tak pergi sekolah sebab atok meninggal...

Atok : !!@@#$%@#

Sumbangan: Nama Aku Lan,Budak-Budak Panggil Lan Todak
 
 
 
 
 
 
Pukul Anak
Seorang nenek memukul bontot cucunya yang telah melakukan perbuatan yang tak sepatutnya...

Tiba-tiba ayah budak tersebut telah ternampak.... nak berdiam diri kesian pulak pada anaknya.. nak masuk campur.. tak berani...

Lalu setiap kali nenek itu mengayun rotan memukul bontot cucu, si ayah juga bertindak menampar muka sendiri.

Melihat tindakan si ayah yang agak pelik, si nenek segera berhenti memukul cucunya dan bertanya dengan penuh kehairanan pada si ayah.

"Kenapa engkau menampar muka sendiri?"

Jawab si ayah
"Anakku dipukul orang ... dan untuk membalas perbuatannya itu, aku telah memukul anak orang itu."


---- sumbangan: Mohd Firdaus Ismail

Big Bang's Profile!

Big Bang's Profile!

I found more details about them! LUCKY! ^~^ Let me introduce them to you all again! ^_~
( It's gonna be a very long post! HAHA! )



G-Dragon (G-드래곤)

Profile


Postion: Leader / Main RapperReal
Name: Kwon Ji Yong (권지용)
Date of Birth: August,18,1988

Height: 177 cm
Weight: 58 kg
Blood Type: A

Education: Seoul Korean Traditional Arts Middle & High School
Skills: Rapping, Dancing, Beat Boxing, Composing, Singing, and Languages (Chinese, English)Debut: DaeHanMinGook Hip Hop Flex (2001)

Hobbies: Drawing pictures and listening to music

Likes: Fashion, Acting, Cooking, Crispy Donuts, Dogs, Cars, The Drawing ‘Is it like stars or skeleton‘, books (poems, mangas, and magazines), watching cartoons, and himself


Religion: Christian

Family Members: Parents and Older Sis [Dami]

Personality: He is pretty bright…When he is quiet, he is extremely quiet. He lightens the mood a lot. He leads the group. His senses are fast, has high self-esteem and likes to be outstanding.

Pendent: A bball cap (GD’s favorite style of cap) on top of a star meaning “to become a big star in the music industry.”


Bio


G-Dragon initially started out as a child hip hop artist likely in hopes of emulation the popularity and success of Lil Romeo and Lil Bow Wow in the states. He was also a model. However, he could not release an album and was limited to featuring on other YG artists’ albums.


On January 2001, GD debuted on the compilation album Daehanmingook Hip-Hop Flex as a rapper. After his debut, he was recruited along with Tae Yang to act in JinuSean’s mv as mini JinuSean, which was released in February of the same year. Then GD started training out his planned debut as one half of hip hop duo GDYB.


During that time, he was featured on songs by Perry, Se7en, Wheesung, YG Family and Masta Wu. He also had cameos in many YG artists’s music videos and performed live with Swi.T, Lexy, JinuSean and YG Family. He also performed in concert with Wheesung, Gummy and Se7en and in YG Family’s annual One concerts.


Out of everyone, GD was closest to YG and Perry, who thought him a lot, and his relationship with Hyun Suk was even described as “father and son”. GDYB released 2 songs on YG Family’s second album, but never debut or released an album. In 2004, GD and Tae Yang were both listed as YG new faces and scheduled to debut that year.


However, Hyun Suk announced that their debut was canceled in favor of forming a four-to-six member group. It took until 2006 for BIG BANG to be officially announced via The BIG BANG Documentary Reality Show. Meanwhile, GDYB were featured in Se7en’s album and performed with him at the World Cup.


After graduating from high school, he decided to wait a year before applying to college, and took his college entrance exams in Fall 2007. G-Dragon is BIG BANG’s leader. He is also a rapper and vocalist and has been producing with BIG BANG’s releases with the help of Hyun Suk since the beginning. He also wrote many of the lyrics and recently started songwriting and arranging.


Trivia


• has tattoos on his inner arms: right is “vita dolce” meaning sweet life in Italian and “moderato” on his left meaning moderate (a musical term) done on May 2007 by Carey Heart (husband of U.S. artist Pink) at famous tattoo parlor “Hart & Hurtington Tattoo Parlor” at Palms Casino in Las Vegas


• “G-Dragon” comes from his original name “Ji Yong”because Yong means “dragon” and Ji sounds just like a “G”


• Love it when people call him “Kwon Leader”


• Older Sis, Dami owns online clothing store called “Style Love” or “Style Luv”


• "Lie" was suppose to be GD’s solo because he wrote it, but in the end they decided to sing as a group


• GD's childhood friend is KangIn from Super Junior


• GD’s most prized possesion and he grew a habit of orgnizing it all the time is his shoes hats clothes. The reason “Even though it’s only clothes, once you loose it, you can’t just buy it back.”


Collaborations


• [2001.09.04] Perry - Perry By Storm (Track 01. Storm (with Jinusean, Masta Wu) ; Track 08. G-Dragon)


• [2002.04.03] Wheesung - Like A Movie (Track 7. Magic Eye)


• [2002.10.xx] YG Family - Why Be Normal?


• [2003.03.07] Se7en - Just Listen (Track 1. Intro (with Perry)


• [2006.03.08] Se7en - 24/7 (Track 14. Run (with YBTK)


• [2006.11.02] Se7en - Vol.4 - SE7OLUTION (Track 7. Can You Feel Me)


• [2007.04.19] Lexy - Rush (Track 7. Super Fly (with 태양 and T.O.P)


• Perry MVs - Get ready & Storm


• 1TYM MV - Hot 뜨거


• Jinusean MV - 전화번호


• Masta Wu’s 1st album • Was in YG family’s ONE concert


• Swi.T’s first album


• GD once said that he wanted to be like Teddy when he was older




TOP


Profile


Position: Rapper / Beat BoxerReal
Name: Choi Seung Hyun (최승현)
Stage Names: Tempo, T.O.P

Date of Birth: November 4,1987
Height: 181 cm
Weight: 65 kg
Blood Type: B
Education: Seoul Art College (Majoring in Musical), Dangook University in Theater & Film ( starting 2008 )
Skills: Rapping, Beat Boxing, Lyrics Making
Debut: BIG BANG

Hobbies: Reading and Swimming
Likes: Theatrical Performances, Musicals, and Fashion Designing
Family Members: Parents & Older Sis

Personality: He speaks well and is extremely stubborn. He likes to be the leader of things and speaks his mind. Shy and he thinks he’s cute.
Musician He Admires: Usher, Omarion, Jay-Z, B2K
Pendent: A hand holding a megaphone with a Superman style diamond behind it meaning “to inspire people with his voice and become big”
Bio
Even though BIG BANG is listed as his debut, TOP has been rapping since middle school under the name Tempo. He started doing gigs in underground clubs, sometimes with an older friend of his, NBK Gray. They never sign a label or released an album.
“Buckwild”, one of their songs was storming the internet in mp3 format. Unlike the rest of Big Bang, TOP hasn’t trained to be a singer. His only singing part so far is at the beginning of "She Can’t Get Enough".
He often gets sent on TV shows alone, either as a guest or MC. In August 2007, he started acting in the drama "I Am Sam". In summer 2007, he was also featured as an actor in Red Roc’s "Hello" MV.
Trivia
• voted #41 on MNET’s 2007’s 100 Must Haves
• oldest member of BIG BANG
• sleeps wearing a lot of clothing
• first to appear on TV show on his own (Happy Share Company)
• played a major role in Korean Drama “I Am Sam”
• has a very pink bedroom
• performed at club in Gangnam 2002~2005
• KBS we like radio. Won rap battle 2003.
• performed with STARZ 2004
• famous korean singer “SE7EN” chose the name T.O.P
• In Love Letter with Gummy, both Gummy and TOP have the same nickname: Siberian Husky.
• both Gummy and TOP were noted as “Exercising Owls” in an article for exercising very late at night
Collaborations
• [2007.04.19] Lexy - Rush (Track 7. Super Fly (with 태양 and G.Dragon)
• [2007.07.12] Red Roc music video “Hello”
• [2007.08.06] "I’m Sam" drama as Chae Moo Shin



Seung Ri (승리)
Profile
Position: Vocalist
Real Name: Lee Seung Hyun (이승현)
Stage Name : Seung Ri (승리); V.I
Date of Birth: December 12, 1990
Height: 176 cm
Weight: 60 kg
Bloodtype: A
Skills: Singing, Dancing
Debut: BIG BANG
Likes: Foreign Languages
Family: Parents and younger sibling
Personality: very strong for the youngest member in the group. He is pretty mature because blood type is A. He is shy and keeps lots of things to himself.
Musician He Admires: Justin Timberlake, Omarion
Determination: fighting!I cannot return home
Pendent: A planet surrounded by rings. Looks kind of like Saturn. “A new style of music set on the music industry”
Bio
Seung Ri is from Kwangjoo, the sixth major city in Korea. As we can see in the Big BangDocumentary, it’s quite a long commute between the two.
Before Big Bang, he was a member of Ilhwan, a Kwangjoo dance team. In summer 2005, Seung Ri appeared on an episode of Battle Shinhwa, a TV show to find the second Shinhwa (a famous boyband) through auditions.
The band Battle is the result of that TV show. In the thirteenth episode, he was cut because his singing wasn’t impressive enough, even though his dancing was.
Trivia
• youngest of the group
• fought against So-1 (former member) to stay in group
• shares a bedroom with DS in new apartment
• Had to put up with GD hugging him at night in old apartment
• sometimes called Panda or Baby Panda due to the dark circles under his eyes
• apart of M. Net Battle of Shinwa June~August 2005
• was in Kwandju dance team “II Hwa”
• had photos of himself and his ex-gf shown during a skit on the REAL concert DVD
• Favorite song to karaoke to is “Look at the Photo [Vibe]“
• SR’s highest score in high school was 85%
• SR’s highest in middle school was 81%
• the nickname that the members gave SR because he would always killed the mood was “Mek Ggeun (Mood Killer)”
Collaborations
• None so far

Tae Yang (태양)
Profile
Position: Vocalist
Real Name: Dong Yong Bae (동영배)
Stage Names: Tae Yang, YB Tae Kwon, YBTK
Date of Birth: May 18, 1988
Height: 174 cm
Weight: 56 kg(? I think something goes wrong =='')
Blood Type: AB
Education: Daejin University in Theater & Film ( starting in 2008 )
Skills: Rapping, Dancing,Beatboxing, Singing, Languages (English, Japanese)
Debut: YG Family’s Second Album in 2002
Hobbies: Basketball, Music, Watching TV
Likes: Church, Summer, Clothers, Game, Manhwa
Religion: Christian
Family Members: Parents and Older brother (Dong Hyeon-Bae 동현배)
Personality: Does his best in everything. Over achiever. Doesn’t like to fight. He talks about his problem with his opponent. He listens to you well and thinks about what he is going to say before
he says anything.
Musicians he admires: Usher, Omarion, Justin Timberlake
Pendant: A sun (taeyang is korean for ’sun’) which has a crown on top and “YB” in the middle meaning “to become the best in music industry
Bio
Taeyang was a child actor starting in 5th grade. He was recruited to play the part of mini Sean in JinuSean’s "A-Yo" MV. After that, he auditioned to join YG Family, having been impressed by JinuSean. His chosen stage name was YB Taekwon, which is either a reference to JinuSean’s Taekwon V album or to the giant robot Taekwon V.
His rapping debut was in YG Family’s second album in 2002. In 2003, he participated in Wheesung’s second album, rapping on the track Player. He performed with JinuSean, Swi.T, Lexy, Masta Wu, Se7en and YG Family, and took part in Wheesung, Gummy, Se7en and YG Family’s One concerts.He was scheduled to debut with G-Dragon as GDYB (for G-Dragon & YB Taekwon) in 2004, but never debuted or released an album.
Hyun Suk announced that their debut was canceled in favor of forming a four-to-six-member group. Even though he’d previously trained to be a rapper and wanted to become one, he debuted in Big Bang as a singer. He’s been studying Japanese for three years, since 2004, in preparation for Big Bang’s Japanese debut.
After graduating high school, he and G-Dragon decided to take a year off before applying for college. He has been accepted at Daejin University in theater and film for 2008, and has mentioned wanting to become an actor.
His first kiss was during the filming of the Ma Girl music video, when the actress got carried away and kissed him for real. Hyun Suk mentioned in his messages that Taeyang was going to have a solo single, as a reward for hard work and to make up for being too harsh with Taeyang. It was tentatively scheduled for September 2007, but it hasn’t been released yet.
Trivia
• Before BIG BANG was formed, Tae Yand and fellow bandmate G-Dragon were known as “G-Dragon & YB Tae Kwon.” They have performed as a duo at concerts such as ‘Se7en’s’. First SE7EN as rappers and backup dancers.
• been with YG for many years
• received first kiss while filming “Ma Girl” MV
• first appeared in A-Yo MV as younger version of JinuSean
• “papa” of the group (gets them to talk about their problems)
• in 5th grade took acting class
• audition for JinuSean’s MV
• audition for YG after meeting JinuSean
• YB carries a bible that reflects his religious beliefs
• Favorite song to karaoke to is “Incomplete”
• When TY called the members during his “Ma Girl” MV shooting, he said “HYUNGS! I’m dead! I kissed a girl!”
• TY’s most prized possesion is his piano because his mom bought it for him which inspired him to played the piano and love music
• YB once sported an eye brow ring. Eye Brow Ring can be seen during the documentary & first single era
Collaborations
• [2002.08.20] Wheesung - It’s Real (Track 7. Player)
• [2006.03.08] Se7en - 24/7 (Track 14. Run w/ GD)
• [2006.11.07] Se7en - Vol 4 Se7olution (Track 12. Please Give Me Permission)
• [2007.04.19] Lexy - Rush (Track 1. Get Up Intro) (Track 2. Rush) (Track 7. Super Fly w/ GD and TOP)
• 1TYM MV - Hot 뜨거
• Swit’s 1st album
• Masta Wu’s 1st Album
• YG Family ONE concert

Dae Sung (대성)
Profile
Position: Vocalist
Real Name: Kang Dae Sung (강대성)
Stage Names: D-Lite, Delight
Date of Birth: April 26,1989
Height: 178 cm
Weight: 63 kg
Blood Type: O
Education: KyeongIn High School
Skills: Singing
Debut: BIG BANG
Likes: Rap, Beat Boxing,Cooling
Family: Parents and Older Sis [Bora]
Personality: Always bright. Does his best in everything. When he is around people, he lightens the mood. Loves goofing off and eating. Doesn’t like showing his sadness, known to be the “happy” one in the group.
Musician He Admires: Usher, Omarion, Ne-Yo, Wheesung
Determination: “I’ll work my hardest and become the best.”
Pendent: A pair of headphones surrounding the globe of the world meaning “to let the world listen to your music.”
Bio
Dae Sung was recruited in an audition, and even though he was jokingly known as “unpretty boy” among the staff, he turned out to be the most popular members.
During training, he got to do vocal training with Wheesung, who’s one of his favorite artists. Wheesung had also help other members from BIG BANG. While training, he was diagnosed with vocal cord nodules (a mass of tissue that grows on the vocal cords causing human speech to be difficult), which are common among singers and caused by strains on the vocal cords.
They got worse in fall of 2006 and DS had to undergo treatment soon before the release of BIG BANG’s second single. Thankfully, Gummy, who had experienced the same problem, helped Dae Sung recover and manage his condition. They’ve been friends ever since. Gummy was the one who said “hello” in Korean in the "Lie" MV.
In April 2007, Dae Sung decided to quit high school to be able to focus full-time on Big Bang, but expressed a desire to pass his college entrance exams sometime in the future. In October 2007, Dae Sung was featured in singer Nemo’s “Ije, Oori…” (이제,우리..) [Now We] digital single. This was the first M-Boat/YG collaboration since the split of their partnership some months earlier.
Trivia
• huge obsession with Japanese cartoon character, Doraemon and has many Doraemon items from charms to boxers to chopsticks
• before was called ugly but now has become one of the popular members of the group
• known as a comedy genius for his imitations, sense of humor and puns.
• If DS wasn’t a singer or performer, he would be studying for college entrance exams/a student, a baseball player or a pastor.
Collaborations
• featured in singer Nemo’s “Ije, Oori…” (이제,우리..) [Now We] digital single
---------------------------------------------
OK. HMMM..It's really a long post! And there are alot of names that I don't know! HAHA! But I think They are all Korea's Single or Musician. (Anything) These information was post by last year, it haven't been updated. Like Seung Ri actually got a solo "Strong Baby" this year, and Dae got his solo in "It's a big hit" and "Look at me, Gwisoon!" too! And it's NOT mentioned in the profile!
But I really know more about them! (Whether it is true onot, at least I know something about them, and can just start my own imagination to them! HAHAHA!) I really don't know I like which one more, hahaha! I just LOVE them SO~~ MUCH! Really hope that I can meet them in future! >.<''
They are always giving me alot of motivation!
I think most of you will just ignore this post, cause it's really too long. And if I were you, I will just skip this post and goes to another one for sure, HAHAHA! But my purpose for this is to let someone who are interested with them to understand abit more about BIG BANG! Haha!
Anyway, Big Bang is really a AMAZING Band in Korea! I know there are lots of band and single which is more attractive to your. And there are so many nice and great songs in the world. It doesn't matter what language. I just can't live in a world without music! It's really scary for me. What I trying to say is, they won't dissapoint you while you getting closer to them! As in, listen to their songs, know what they are doing and their thoughts, etc.
Hope you guys will fall in love with Big Bang too! Then I won't feel alone while I talking about their stuff! HAHAHA! It's abit late now. I cannot stay up late anymore. Trying to avoid it. I do love panda, but I don't want to become a panda in real live. =P
Good Night everyone! Wish you all have a nice sweet great awesome and whatever dream! HAHA! (Sometime, I love to have dreams! ^_^)
MUACKS~!!

44 comments:

sabahking said...
i like to see ur profile rather than her profile cause u r a pretty gal !!
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